On the eve of my 46th birthday I am feeling both unsettled and more committed than ever to live with love and joy and not be ruled by fear. Not always easy. I received 2 emails tonight which put, I guess, a healthy level of fear into me. One, from a friend we met on the road. Her name is Patricia and she lives in Zacetecas, Mexico. We were planning on driving there tomorrow. We had already changed our plans just due to timing. Here is what she said.
“Since we got back we have learned that there has been drug cartel violence with the death of a policeman and two civilians wounded in Guadalupe, which is right next to Z. Some reports so there were more deaths. Both cities were closed down for a day, but all is back to “normal”. On the route from Guadalajara to Z via Jalpa, Paraiso Caxcan, Villanueva there are reports that there is full-fledged turf battle going. There are several levels of reporting regarding this situation. We guess that there is truth in each. I thought it important that you have this information and hope that you get it. Of course, we would love to see you in Z. but definitely would understand a decision to avoid it. I don’t want to underplay nor exaggerate the situation so here you have what I know.” I so appreciate her letting us know. Steven and I were just talking today about our route to the border and what would make the most sense. it certainly helps to be informed but damn, when will this end? I feel so heartbroken for all the people directly effected by this. And I search my heart for what I might be able to do/ how much responsibility I have as a US citizen or more accurately a citizen of this planet.
The second email came from my good friend who works in DA’s office. She and I go way back and met during the investigation of the attack I mentioned in an earlier post. She too was involved in a break-in by the same guy. She has kept me posted all these years. I know that his release is inevitable but I also hoped that it would never happen. Illogical I know but ever hopeful. Well, her email let me know that he will be released to a half-way house this month and then completely released in the fall. I feel like the floor has dropped out from underneath me.
I guess I am writing this because I believe that living true, with love and compassion does not only apply to good times. I have spent the day with my family exploring a cool town in Mexico, walking my dogs through paths lined by cactus and filled with hummingbirds, and talking with and playing with my boys. I even watched my husband Steven make his first tortillas and sopes. God were they good. My son Deven is still recovering from some kind of bug and has been coughing like a seal all day. We have been experimenting with all kinds of remedies such as honey, bee pollen, and good old cough syrup. Throughout this ordeal, which has left him sore and tired, he has been his loving sweet self. He told me today that love makes the world go around. He wasn’t being silly or sappy just his factual self. Just a comment during a regular day.
So even though I want to crawl in a hole and stay there with my family, I will make my way back home next week. I have a teacher training starting and lots of friends to see and chickens to hug. I bet you didn’t know that chickens can be cuddly. Love really does make my world go round. Peace, Mimi